


Truly, Madly, Deeply, in Love

by louiscumdrops



Category: Okbaby
Genre: Death, F/M, Hope, Love, Therapy, happiness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-07 13:38:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7716817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louiscumdrops/pseuds/louiscumdrops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her life goes amiss with his death living as a single mom now and a baby girl on the way but with without someone to remembrance besides a camera and YouTube no one will ever be by her side when she needs someone the most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever fan fic please forgive me if I spell anything wrong or a typo, etc. Do not take my work with out my permission for anything even to translate!!!
> 
> Disclaimer: THIS IS A WORK OF COMPLETE FANFICTION. NEVER HAPPENED, NOT REAL, NO OFFENSE INTENDED. Absolutely does not reflect upon the real life people mentioned in this fictional story. The story, and its characters, belong to me. Please do not repost anywhere and do not print/distribute. Please do not translate my story, as I am not authorizing translations at this time
> 
>  
> 
> So yeah
> 
>  
> 
> ...enjoy
> 
>  
> 
> [WARNING: Graphic scenes and strong language will be used!!]

 

(Listen to Sea Fog – keane !!)

 

.

Day 16.

2 weeks and 2 days since the death.

 

She sits on the bottom of the bathroom floor just staring into space thinking..what now.

 

Levi is asleep in his room after 3 hours of trying to put him to sleep. Its very hard, Levi just cries thinking Oscar is gonna walk in any second and make him smile and laugh and so did she..but he didn't.

The funeral was just 4 days ago and it doesnt feel like he's gone. His existence is still felt around the apartment. Levi and Kyra are moving to Salt Lake City. Grandma Kathy and her mom thought it was best for her to start a new chapter in life and get away from the apartment. The move in date is in just two days and the whole apartment is just empty and filled with silence. Kyra just wants to be alone no one understands how she feels right now. They just think it happened for a reason and something good in life will happen..bullshit..he was the best thing that happened to her and making her smile and living life like theres no tomorrow. She loved Oscar though sometimes she wouldn't show it to him and he showed it to her.

She gets up from the floor and goes into the bedroom the sun is barely up yet, just starting to illuminate the sky, and normally, Kyra is never awake so early. This particular morning, though, she's already been up for several hours.

She arches her back and lays down on the bed and buries her head into the pillows Oscar use to sleep with. Kyra can't do anything but lay there even if she begs and cries for him to come back he's gone. Sometimes she can feel someone putting a hand on her shoulder when she cries.

"It's not fair" she whispers to herself she starts tearing up again, can't help it, and tries to cover her face with her hands though no one is looking. Even with every emotion and doubt and concern running through her mind. Her stomach muscles start involuntarily clenching as she hears Levi crying. She can't do it anymore, it has been way to hard without Oscar and though Levi is only a baby he misses Oscar. Making him smile, he his daddy's little boy and always made each other happy.

 

She closes her eyes and stands up to get Levi while walking to the door the cries stops, she opens the door to Levi staring to at something though the room was completely empty. Kyra watches him. Levi arches his back and trying to get adjusted and wanting to be picked up but no one was there.

"Buggy" she says and Levi looks at Kyra and the smile disappears. He looks back to his side and starts crying once again like if something was there and is gone now, she picks him up and takes him to the livingroom and puts him in bouncer as she gets ready to go to wal-mart to buy snacks for their way to Salt Lake City she sighs and goes to her room and starts hearing buggy laughing again.

-

They go to the car and she hasn't used it since the accident with Oscar happened, Grandma Kathy was the one who mostly took her everywhere. She closes the door where Levi is at and already hears him screaming.  
She closes her eyes when she realizes Oscar fucked with the adjustment of her seat. It’s pushed too far back and Kyra can’t reach the pedals. She lets her head fall back against the headrest and doesn’t try to stop herself from crying.

Fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

6 hours

6 hours later and they have made it to Salt Lake City, supposedly the new chapter of Levis and Kyra new life starts here.

Kyra's mom put her into a therapy, nothing serious, just someone to talk to and how she feels and maybe she will get better after the lose, but that wasn't the case, she missed 2 classes already since they moved in here and they have only been here for 6 days, they call her but she thinks she doesn't need help, emotions are normal no one can cure someone from having emotions but she called a babysitter and went to the class anyway.

It was a lady, she look like she was in her 50's supposedly knew what she was doing her name was Olivia.

She talked about the move and kyra didn't bring up a word about Oscar tho Olivia knew she was hurting because of his lose tho,she doesn't know how he died.

"Do you the new apartment?"

"..its okay tall ceiling,more space, and Levi can craw around more...I went shopping for decorations and food tho I still need to go back.." Kyra said she lets her self relax a bit on the couch but inside she felt very uncomfortable there, she just wants to go home.

"How does levi do alone in the room?" She inquire 

"Fine..he's use to it he slept alone in the other apartment and also had his own room there..I sleep with him in the room..I haven't really slept in my room since we moved in" she fumbles with her fingers and looks down trying to stay calm 

"Why is that?" Kyra stays silent she would say that she feels lonely and hates waking up to a dark, cold, empty room but she doesn't say anything.

"Kyra..Its okay to feel alone when someone has passed Ive seen it all the time" kyra looks up quickly and gives her a dirty look and stands up  
"How do you know how I feel I dont know how long you've been doing this but Im fine I'm not in despair I dont even know why my mom put me in this stupid place she doesn't have to deal with me anyway! You dont have to waste your time on me using your same technique on me, that all of a sudden makes a person feel better fuck off" she snaps at her and slams the door of the room and leaves. She knew that was rude but she couldn't hold it back

But she lied she was hurting she does cry each night in the bathroom just wishing she could have just one last chance to be with oscar and tell him she loves him along with all the stuff she feels horrible about however she doesn't enjoy it when therapists all of a sudden know what your going through you can tell them how you feel but they dont know what goes through her mind and for fucks sakes she could have tell her a flat out lie and let her leave.

The babysitter left and she spend the whole afternoon with Levi and they went to the store and one of the neighbors was being rude they made too much noise, she didn't care, tho that was a bad start to there 'New Chapter' in the apartment for already 6 days.

"Dada...dada" Levi starts saying when they're both on the living-room floor, she remembers when they were at Korina's house and they were in bed and Oscar taught Levi how to say that, He doesn't say it clearly but it's enough that you know he's saying that 

"Say mama Levi say mama" she holds him and doesn't say anything and starts saying dada, she gives him a weak smile and puts him down.

She sighs and tries to ignore the clenching and unclenching in her stomach. She puts Levi to sleep and takes a shower and she doesn't even take a shower in her own bathroom. Everything in there is essentially untouched in there. She crashes down on the couch and watches a couple episodes of Jane the Virgin until she is ready to go to sleep. She steps into her own bedroom and is hesitant about sleeping in there. Kyra doesn't even wanna try to walk in and sleep on the floor in Levis room before he wakes up and won't go back to sleep because he'll see her and will be screaming for her.

She slowly walks to her bedside when she stops at her tracks when she hears buggy laughing from his room and goes back. She opens the door and see's him staring at someone besides on his crib and completely ignores Kyra.  
She lets him be he has been doing that for a while and closes the door and goes to her room and just thinks about oscar and can't stop her self from breaking down in her bathroom

"Why didn't you take me with you" she cries and says to herself, she wants him so bad she never told anyone but deep inside she wants to kill herself to be with Oscar and Levi will go with Korina and the kids and precisely plans her death but doesn't think about when she's around people. She was freezing cold in the bathroom floors but she was concentrating on what she was gonna do with herself. 

Will it hurt ? Will she feel herself go ? Is there a chance she survives and stays paralyzed ? 

“You’re about to kill yourself idiot, who cares !” Kyra whispered to herself.”

She thinks about her nineteen years of weird events, from the first moment she can remember, to the last catastrophe.

She thinks about all the good things she’s lived. And when she does, she figures she had a good life, up until a month ago that is. She had great friends and made great memories. She got into insane adventures and achieved a lot academically, and she would have had the perfect life really.

She’s going to do it.

She’s going to kill herself and nothing will matter anymore. It won’t matter if she doesn’t pay her rent, won’t matter if she doesn’t attend the dentist appointment she’s been postponing for nearly a year, won’t matter if she doesn’t see her mom ever again.

Although she does love her and her family. And she doesn’t completely hate her friends. And she might not be too comfortable with hurting her mom this much as 'revenge'. And that new episode of OITNB seemed cool…

Focus Kyra!

“Shit !” Kyra spits and gets back up from the floor, leaning against the wall with her face in hands. She slaps herself and groans, wondering how many times she'll have to actually end her life and be with Oscar to find the guts to make everyone’s life better, including her own.

“One more day. Just one more day.” She says looking at her self in the mirror and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said this is just a fanfic which is all made up! This isnt based off true life events. Thanks you &; sorry for any typos or misspelled grammer!!


	3. Chapter 3

Positive.

Kyra looked up at the mirror with her mouth wide open and so many thoughts going through her mind. When she was pregnant with Levi she just knew she was even before she found out she was pregnant with him but with this baby she has been having so many food cravings everyday, she just thought she was always hungry and needed to control herself.

"Fuck oh my god...." she covers her mouth and tears are already running down her eyes. "I cant do it..." she sits down on the floor and the first thing that comes into her mind is oscar. Kyra doesn't know how many weeks or even if she's 1-3 months already. Oscar and Kyra tried for this baby this time but never got any pregnancy symptoms though she was feeling so hungry and that burrito, she wanted one so bad at 3 in the morning.

She stands up and walks out of the restroom into the bright bedroom, the blinds are wide open, and a while ago the sunrise was shining but now its like someone put the sun in her room. 

She can't hold back her tears and thinks about Oscar and how's he doing. Her Oscar who she fucking fantasized in high school, even when she was with another guy. Oscar who she wanted for so long but every other girl had the chance to get hugged, kissed, or even go out with him. Now she was the one who has him and had a child with him and now is carrying their second child. Now her Oscar is gone.

.

Kyra busies her self at the stove making eggs and opened levis bedroom door open so he will probably wake up with the noise and the smell of the food. She sets the stack of bread and her plate of eggs on the table and gets levis breakfast ready because she knows Levi is just as hungry as she is in the mornings when she wakes up.

She cuts up some fruit and arranges it neatly on Levis stool next to one lightly buttered toast and a half spoon of peanut butter and baby yogurt. She knows Levi would blanche at more than one piece of toast, so the fruit as to make up for it.

She walks into his room and sees Levi looking to the top of the ceiling.  
"Buggy" she says and he looks down at her with a reaction less expression. She picks him up and sets him on his stool and he quickly reaches for the fruit and shoves it into his mouth.

Kyra ends up taking Levi to the park since there's no use of staying in a empty boring apartment and she meets a guy named Jacob. Really nice guy. Levi started crying on top of the slide and he helped her get him down since he was so clinging to her Kyra couldn't even get up

"What made you come here to Salt Lake?" He asks her with a smile and looks down as kyra stares a bit to long at him. He just seems one of those guys you can just sit down and admire.

I mean his ocean blue eyes and dark brown hair matches him to perfectly and his smile is so warm and welcoming but she needs to stop her self who knows what oscar must be feeling right now she is going with another guy.

"I-Im sorry...umm.. Its a really beautiful place here but I was planning to move to Florida but this place is to good to pass" she shrugged

"Great... I know a couple of friends from Florida but they say they'd rather be here than a humid sticky place" he laughs and looks down at Levi squishes his cheeks together

As the day progressed, Kyra and Jacob talked about their lives not too much into details. Kyra thinks she has a boring life, talking about it makes her fall asleep she gets a bit nervous when she talks about her self to new people. He keeps catching her staring at him a couple of times when he rambles on.

There is something so different about Jacob though. Kyra thinks maybe Jacob is one of the most genuine people she’s ever met. The way his eyes light up with something like awe as he sees Levi or when Kyra stumbles with her words, the way he mumbles observations about each detail as if he doesn’t even mean for Kyra to hear. Each time he raises his eyes to Kyra and says something about how beautiful she is or how adorable Levi is there is a sincerity in those blue eyes that kind of throws Kyra off.

Kyra blushes a lot and she thinks she says ‘thanks Jacob’ too much but she doesn’t really know what else to say. She really means it though, she really is thankful for Jacob’s kind words and for Jacob’s sincerity and for Jacob’s interest in the things she’s spent so much time on. Kyra decides that Jacob is just kind, and it’s nice, the sincerity is nice.

Somehow they end up on the subject of interests and find they both love football. Jacob says he used to play but doesn’t anymore because he’s out of shape. It’s a quiet admission and she’s a little surprised when it comes out of his mouth but Jacob just says he wishes he could play but he wasn’t joking when he said he has two left feet. Kyra finds out that Jacob loves to cook and Jacob finds out that Kyra likes to play volleyball, though Kyra insists she’s no good and only does it for fun. They get on the subject of family and Kyra loves the way Jacob almost seems to brag about his mom and sister and step father, it shows how much he loves them and he thinks a nice boy like Jacob deserves to have a nice family.

Both of them are kind of shocked when Kyra glances at her phone and realizes there is only ten minutes until its 9:00 Kyra doesn’t even remember the last time she’s had a conversation this easy with anyone other than Keren or her friends. Usually when she talks to her classmates she’s pretending to care what they say and being polite. It’s different with Jacob, she thinks maybe Jacob could read the dictionary and she would still listen. It’s been a really long time since Kyra met someone that she’s clicked with like this. She only hopes she hasn’t bored Jacob to death.

“I’m really sorry, I didn't know it was getting this late already,” Kyra frowns.

Jacob laughs and shakes his head, “it’s no big deal, it was worth it to get to know you a little better. If you like we can meet up again?”

Kyra blushes, because there is that sincerity again, “you wouldn’t mind? You can come over to my house one day if you'd like I hope I don't waste your time from doing something important?”

“It’s not a waste Kyra,” Jacob says earnestly, “really I don’t mind. I love hanging out with you and little Levi now, I'd really really like that" he smilies and looks down to the floor.

He has that innocent hopefulness in his eyes again and Kyra realizes she really wouldn’t mind Jacob coming over at all. Kyra doesn’t even think she would mind if Jacob did end up distracting her.

“Sure, if you want to,” Kyra says, smiling a little.

“Great. I’ll be off but I’ll see you soon yeah?” Jacob beams, standing up and pulling on his jacket.

“See you,” Kyra replies, with a little wave of her hand.

Jacob turns to leave but he glances over his shoulder, “bye Levi!” he says, adding a cheeky grin.

Kyra blushes and forces a smile, even though that wasn't meant for her.

Jacob gives a little nod and heads to his car. Kyra watches him walk away and Jacob is a little bit pigeon toed but Kyra decides there is something graceful and easy about the boys long strides. Jacob glances back once before exits, his eyes meet Kyra’ and he flashes possibly the sweetest smile Kyra has ever seen, and then he’s gone.

As Kyra gets up she looks so to see Levi fast asleep in his stroller. She’s glad she got to know a little bit about the boy. Kyra doesn’t really know why Jacob would want to spend his afternoon in the park with her, but she figures he must be a little lonely. Kyra knows how that feels, because maybe she’s a little lonely too. But maybe she felt a little less lonely with those big beautiful blue eyes directed at her.

But Kyra thought she needs to stop these feelings. She just met him and she thinks he's the one and she hated each time when she meets a guy and thinks he's the one...maybe thats what she thought about Oscar but for her he was the one for her. Kyra doesn't even love Jacob maybe she has feelings...maybe more than just feelings but other than that her love for Oscar doesn't just go away even though he's gone and never coming back she would never forget him or never stop loving him.


End file.
